School: This year, I struggle to let them go...

This year I may struggle to let them go. This year I may struggle because last year I didn't... and last year I should have. The past, history... things not being what I had hoped. Things not being what they could have been or should be for every 7 and 5-year-old girl. My uncertainty, a reminder of the fear to trust. 

When we release them, it is not to the teachers, bus drivers... bullies or friends. When we release them it is to God. And that is a whole other wave of trust we are asked to ride to shore. 

They are more resilient then you give them credit for... You can mess them up as much as the next guy... (Is this really what you are asking of me again?) In this place will you allow your mind go to worse case or will you hold my hand, and ride that next wave so that I can bring you to a deeper place of understanding?

I have drawn the sacred in your heart. You have treasured these things as you should. They are not forgotten, they are only memories... memories that hold no power, do not control emotions that once held you captive... 

But as I think of that bus pulling up... and their eyes dancing with excitement for another first... I refuse to ruin moments because of my fears, my regrets. It is with certainty that I again know the sovereignty of YOU. YOU who are my rock, a refuge in which I can trust. A refuge where I will rest, trust, with purpose seeping from each tear, destiny marching with the pounding of my heart, hold them close, then release... the same love has pushed and released its way through death and into eternity millions of times without me. Nothing new under then sun, not even in the good things of this life.

As purpose seeps with tears, and destiny climbs those too high to reach stairs of the bus without me... I choose to trust. I choose to believe that all is as it should be, could be, and always will be. I choose to trust that you live outside of time and see their lifelines at the beginning as at the end, all held in the palm of your hand. As you weave people, lessons, allow life to shape, pass beside them through the fire to bring forth gold, I see now that surrender was not even an option... because they have always been yours. I hold them close with hands wide open to feel them pull away... back into you... snuggled close to your heart, safer then my own.

Father, children are a gift. Let us never hold them so tightly that they cannot breath... as you give knowledge through others to them, may that knowledge become wisdom that is known for purpose outside of our human understanding. Pour revelation through them for us, as we journey together, closer to you. Help us to know their hearts, as the heart of a child is needed to enter the most sacred of spaces with you. Protect their minds, preserve them as your chosen ones. May we learn in our weakness where you remain strong, and in our mistakes the resiliency of these beautiful bundles of life you have given us. Breath into us the newness of life we see in our children. Help us wonder, explore and seek you around every corner, and in every moment of every day... and do not allow our shortcomings scar the next generation. You are our healer... heal us so we are well, good and pure before you in all that we do. We anticipate all that you will do, and revel in all that you are already doing as you speak to the hearts of every child on earth. Thank you. Gather, and show us what part we hold in that. Amen.