Without
Christ I am nothing.
Without
Christ my parents wouldn’t have trusted the still small voice inviting them to
try again even when the dr.’s were telling them not to. My parents first child
had died after three days, and everyone told them it would happen again –
Through anguish and wandering accusations their sorrow was met with the hands
that shape all things into life – all things into new life. Johanna Eva means
God gracious gift of life – an early fingerprint left by the creator.
Without
Christ my grandmother wouldn’t have invited me to accept Jesus into my heart –
and four year old me without Jesus would still be totally and utterly alone,
and in desperate need of love.
Without
Christ, my young mind could not have endured the sleepless nights of a brother seizuring
in the bunk bed below – wandering
stares, mocking voices with judgment accusing us of sin deserving of such a
mess - but Jesus would whisper with reminders that messes were hidden as
miracles in His kingdom – Messes to miracles, and that miracles are his
absolute delight.
Without
Christ my teenage body would have wasted away through starvation, self
punishment and mutilation – Without Jesus I would have punished every part of
my body until my soul had no place to find its rest - desperate for the
forgiveness only found in a perfect sacrifice; Jesus – purity so blinding, so
intrusive, so warm and inviting. Jesus –
Without
Christ I would not have feared going to hell everyday I pursued an abusive man
who attempted to steal, kill and destroy any marks of the creator in me.
I was so
afraid that without Jesus there was no way to be welcomed back, no second or
third chances – and in my fear, I found that there had not been one moment that
Jesus had left me.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
(Psalm 139:7-12)
There was
not one moment I was without him.
In the
goodness that is Christ, he gifted me with a partner – I was damaged, bitter
and near spiritual death – In Jesus Shaun tolerated my angry heart, my mouth of
unclean hatred that had tasted and seen far too much of the world in three
years.
With Jesus I
am healing – 14 year later, I am healing, and in Christ I am healed while I am
still healing.
A year and a
half ago, I suffered a great loss – one that just about took my life – In
Christ I am now sure that loss is a horribly delightful reminder that all that
I am must be in Christ for – because without him I am nothing, and would not be
here to tell His story.
In my loss,
the words He spoke over and through me will forever be burning in my heart.
Words of wholeness, words of assurance, pictures of remembrance – and as I walk
closer to Him I fear his laser like conviction and invitation to do the hard
work of healing more than I every feared the darkness – because in this world
its hard work to stay close, and pursue his true wholeness.
But Jesus
reminds me that his yoke is easy, and his burden light. And as I walk in His
light I find rest for my soul.
I say
without Christ I am nothing.
What does it
look like to be in Christ? Some days, its obedience through the fog – easing,
not forcing forward through the pain – Other days it’s walking with joy and gratitude
in knowing this gift that tips my head up to gaze in the eyes of a Father who
wakes the earth with painted skies of blinding colour, and directs waters too
vast to measure the depths of His love for us.
Being in
Christ is resisting the temptation to ignore a strangers cry – and asking God
for the emotional capacity to endure another’s sorrow and carry them to the one
that gives new life.
Being in
Christ is feeding the hungry, clothing the poor and reminding one another of
common vision, dreams and values that bind us together as brothers and sisters
in the family of God –
Being in
Christ is seeing him in community, recognising his wonderous works as he moves
in and through us as community – Without Christ in community, we are nothing. Without
Christ in our community we are nothing.
It was Christ
in community that carried me to God when I was too afraid to move. It was Christ
in community that listened and reminded me of the depth of his love, and
wondered with me through movements and slow healing I was experiencing in Him –
because I was too close to recognise the fingerprints he was leaving behind. It
was Christ in community that said no when my moral compass was off – and poured
hope into me when my cup was completely dry.
Christ in
community was everything to me. Without Christ in community, I am
nothing. Without Christ in our community we are nothing.
What does it
look like for us to be in Christ as community?
9 “As the Father has loved Jesus, so has Jesus
loved us. Now let us remain in His love. 10 If we keep his
commands, we will remain in his love, just as Jesus has kept the Father’s
commands and remains in his love. 11 Jesus
has told us this so that his joy may be in us and our joy may be complete. 12 Jesus’ command is this: Love each other as He
has loved us. Love each other as He have loved us 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay
down our lives for our friends. 14 We
are Jesus’ friends if we do what he commands. 15 He
no longer calls us servants, because a servant does not know his master’s
business. Instead, Jesus has called us friends, for everything that He learned
from the Father He have made known to us. 16 We
did not choose Him, but He chose Us and appointed us so that we might go
and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever we ask in Jesus’ name
the Father will give us. 17 This
is his command: Love each other.
I share my
story – but without Christ it isn’t much of a story at all, and without each
one of you in Christ our intercepting and knit together story’s mean nothing. In
Christ we live and move and have our being – not individually, but together.
Without
Christ we are nothing. Father, make us one – in Jesus name.
