I can remember being 5 years old and being terrified of having to walk down a pitch dark hallway to get to the washroom. My parents did not believe in night lights, and to this day I am so thankful.
My 5 year old self learned to hate fear. Just as fear is an emotion, so is anger... so fear became my anger. When my 40 year old self thinks on fear, anger was an appropriate response, because fear is a lie. I realised at 5 that fear, not darkness was in the way of getting me to the place I needed to be. That fear, not a lack of trust was in the way of making friends. That fear, not rejection was in the way of doing what I had been made to do... and to this day I can trace every hesitation back to fear, which still makes me angry.
There is something exhilarating about knowing your hand is in front of your face, and not being able to see it, or having darkness as think as tar surrounding you, but being able to walk freely though it with no hesitation. Knowing in your mind what your feelings wont allow you to see. This is where we get tripped up.
My 5 year old self choose to storm through a pitch dark hallway to reach my destination. Some nights I told my feet linger over the end of the bed long enough to let the evil creatures under my bed know that they had no place near me. Rebellion was in my favour in this one. Resilience was found in never allowing fear to have hold of me.
Please excuse my reaction when I see you become fearful of something. My heart burns to see people live to their full potential, and when fear hold them back, I react. We have been given the mind of Christ Jesus. God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
I was reminded of all of this fear stuff when recently someone I respect dearly told me he saw me as fearless. I was stunned, and had a flash of all of the situations I have walked through, terrified, knowing I had to reach the destination on the other side of my fear.
I am not fearless. I use fear as a prompt to run to my heavenly Father, and ask Him what is happening to me. If fear is a liar, what is the lie? If I know the lie, then what is the truth? When I walk in truth, there is no darkness, only light.
If you are afraid of the dark... fear is real. What can you do?
Don't let some thing you cant identify stop you... call it out. Pray, ask people you trust, know what the fear is, and be honest about it. Is it external, is it internal? External will always come back to internal... and be something you need to deal with yourself. Fear of the darkness isn't fear of the darkness, there is something much deeper going on.
Train your mind to react in truth when fear comes. I am feeling nervous, why? Deal with the surface issue, then move deeper.
At the base of my foundations my fear always has to do with not trusting God will look after me. This fear was imprinted on me from a young age. God has had to remind me every day, that He is God, and that people are people. That he is not them, and that people can only do as good as they can with what they have, and with who they are. People make the wrong choices, and it is Gods business to deal with them, not mine... Jesus took that pain, and I am called to trust and believe Jesus was enough. I have also had been told that there is nothing that has come into my life that God has not allowed, and he is redeeming all things, making all things new in his time. When I believe this truth, there is a sweet place of peace and rest. Fear has no place here.
We need not fear if we believe in a God that is in the process of making all things new.
