I am tired. Tired of the questions, tired of not having the answers. I am tired of being looked to as someone that should know - Because I don't. The questions being asked cannot be answered by human words, or understood by a mind held together by bones, kept beating by a heart moving blood.
The questions asked cannot be held by hands, conceived by minds or known by the heart. The questions asked are ones of a world not seen or understood by human design. Questions of value, questions not bound by time or space. Questions that exist in sacred space, created by one whose masterpiece has no confines, no limits or single dwelling place.
How could one be expected to know such answers?
I am warn. Warn of sitting in pain, beside it, around it, and dancing with those that know no other place. An endless depth that welcomes no relief. Pain that rips and tears the most beautiful of things and perverts all that was once intended to be whole. Pain that leaves holes - breathes whole. Pain that exists beyond thought, or words - blinding, invading the most intimate abyss with no foundation of return. Do you know that depth of pain? Could there be any reason for that depth of pain?
What if there was a place of purpose for your pain? What if there was relief - in this place within space and time. A place where your pain and questions gave way to contemplation? A place where resting in pain became a place of solace - a place of communion? What if I told you this place need not be avoided, but grasped and clung to for something much greater? If you saw anothers heart also engaged in this pain - and the pain was really the answer to something much deeper - a need not known unless hands outstretched gave way to community.
What if the questions and the pain were all a design of hope to draw a much bigger, grander desire of need for and from others? What if there were people that had the same questions and the same pain? What if they carried this pain together - not in a forced furry of confusion, but in a fully known, fully loved place where time existed outside of itself. Suspended space between heaven and earth where zero gravity begins, and oxygen births life.
Can you exist in a world that is counter intuitive, but when put on is perfection?
Today, in my questions and pain I did something different.
