I just need to say this from the beginning – it has been a long and difficult season of keeping my mouth shut. God was so clear with me in the beginning –
“If it’s not my opinion I would ask that you say nothing.”
I knew I had not gotten his opinion on anything about the temperature
of this wavering culture, so I was obedient. Even with my closest of friends, I
shared very little of my own thoughts and opinions as I was not sure they lined
up with God’s. I asked questions others would avoid, I watched, listened,
learned – but was slow to discuss anything to do with Covid. I can honestly say
it has been one of the most disciplined acts of my life – and in the end so
very rewarding. In my restraint I have found a deeper place of surrender, a sacred
space of wondering, and a heightened sense of the movement of my saviour. All
these things would have been lost had I not kept my mouth shut.
Asking questions often reveals the heart of a situation.
Knowing the heart of a situation invites prayer; invites a new way of seeing,
knowing another – in a place of depth very few people remain to know, remain to
thrive. Payer that aligns with the heart of the creator for his children – both
corporately and individually.
Mask wearing made me hyper aware of reading emotion in
peoples eyes. Fear, anger death beckoning loneliness and emptiness that spans
past eternity. I have watched a new minority group become targeted, hated, and slowly
cast out. Fear, anger… loneliness, emptiness – nothingness.
I listened as people cried for their families, their loved
ones, their wants, their needs, their privileges slowly slipping through their
fingers like clean water in a disease riddled land. I listened to hate and ridicule,
curses and death going out from their mouths – selfishness made a god and ego a
mans best friend.
I saw it all, and I wondered – what is your heart on this.
You see it all, you love each one; the one that hates, the one that fears – the
empty ones and the ones at deaths door. What is your heart – and he finally
spoke…
“The issue at hand is not the focus – the transformation of
your heart, is.”
And so as I looked to arrive I realized the request to keep
my opinions to myself – to watch, listen and learn, was the point. There was no
arrival, but rather the soft reminder that our response to situations is the
deepest reflection of the undercurrent of our lives. My arrival was the continual
journey of transformation. Gods heart for his people is how the current situation
is bringing them nearer to him, and to one another. Gods heart for us to love
him, and love others is a direct reflection of how he is choosing to use the
current situation to form us- individually and corporately.
When He asked me to keep my opinions to myself it was an
invitation to hear the heart of a nation, and be transformed in the process.
What are you watching, listening to, and learning? How is
the undercurrent of your inner self being formed? Do you see those that hate
you, that disagree with you, that have written you off? You no longer have the luxury
of hating back. Your reactions say more about you than you realize – and there
you will find the beginning of God searching your heart, and knowing you.
You will find that conviction invites, and forgiveness is a
breath away. You will find that healing is taking place and your new life is
being fanned into flame. You will fall forward into the softest arms of grace,
and live into a new way – a way that requires much, and produces just the right
amount of surrender for each moment of each day.
I would ask that you become aware of your need to react,
look full into the eyes of Jesus to ask what he would do in this current culture.
There is a freedom that invites us to live – really live. He invites you today
to really live.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
