"So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.  I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body,  because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me.  And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things." ~ Paul, 2 Peter 1:12-15 (NIV)

Because it is Christ through me, a succession plan should always be in the works.  Because what I do in my calling is from God, it is only appropriate to always be open to my replacement and how that process may look.  Not just in the little things I don't mind giving up, but also in the things i love to do, and am specifically gifted to do.  

My calling is not "mine". It is a passing through of the work that needs to be done on earth.  Gods hand over mine, Gods son crucified and resurrected in my will, the Holy spirit giving nudges and my obedience part of my job description.  

It is meant to humble. It is meant not to be me. It is meant for my gaze to continually be in caught up in the eyes of my Savior.  Why would I not want to be a slave to the work of the King; even as he has chosen to call me His daughter.  Knowing my place in Christ, being who Christ had given his life for me to be is a job description.  My heart is continually laid out before him for Him to do in and through me what he must accomplish.  Once again bringing me back to a place of my gaze in Christ Jesus.  In the ready.  In the waiting, continually retreating back to the arms of my daddy in Heaven after the harsh treatment of the world has given another blow.

In the ridicule, it is Him , not I that takes on the hurt.  In the success it is Him that takes the glory, not me. It is all Him.  Both in the insult, and in the gain.  

In this, His power passes through, and He will always seek out others like me, my replacement, someone far greater in the kingdom. I scan, I seek them out as a recruiter for the great army.  The successor of a kingdom that is not of this world, a ruler that to have it all they must first have nothing.  And to have nothing will posses the keys to a kingdom that will never pass.  

Father keep us always focused on your succession plan for this world.  In Jesus Name, do not let the flesh of this world tempt us to hold onto what is never intended to be held onto.  Humble our lives for your will to pass through us to others.  You are everything, let us never forget your goodness to us.

 "God also said to Moses, “I am the Lord. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the Lord I did not make myself fully known to them." Ex. 6:2-3

"God will continue to reveal himself to you according to your needs and his purposes.  You will come to know more and more about Him as you come to obey Him. When you grieve, he will become your comforter.  When you are in need, he will be your provider.  When you face a serious challenge, He will reveal that he is God almighty"  Henry Blackaby

This morning I woke up with a strong sense of being renewed.  I can go through dry spells, and great pastures of lush freedom and understanding. But this morning I know God in a grace filled, "all of your striving will never be enough" kind of way that has allowed me to rest for a week or so.  I had not felt far away, just like it was alright to snuggle longer in the morning with the girls, while I spoke to my Lord.  Like it was alright to be in fellowship with people in the community down at the beach rather than isolate myself in the office at home.  It is a season of learning that the box I had to put myself in for God is much more free moving that I had ever dreamed.  Constantly through and in my heart, as He has also written his testimony  on my life and in my mind.  I'm sure there will be times of needed and focused structure for my own discipline, but today i know my Lord as my constant.  Through His spirit, and His word.

Father show us when the different seasons of our lives need to be refocused.  When it is time to go out, or time to stay in, both in our spirits and in our physical bodies.  I am excited to see what this day in you brings and know that you have gone before us.  Have us be searching you around every corner and in the hearts of others to see you everywhere in and through all today.  We love you.

"Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.

Tremble and do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent.
 Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
    and trust in the Lord."

"...No one is more precious in the Lords sight than a godly person. God is pleased whenever he finds someone who strives to live a righteous life and bring glory to Him...  ...It is futile for us to pray when we are knowingly practicing sin. But the opposite is also true. God chooses to honor us by listening to our every cry when we are living a godly life...  ...It is exhilarating to be set apart by God, knowing that God observes your consecrated life and is pleased with what he sees.  What a tremendous privilege to know that your life hold a special place in Gods heart! The world may not accord any special status to you, but you will know you are cherished by God.  The world finds new ways to honor people, but even the worlds most extravagant accolades are pitiful compared to the unfathomable blessing of holding a special place in the heart of God!..." Henry T Blackaby, Experiencing God

Notice the main focus here is a righteous life that brings glory to God. Righteousness is obedience in practice.  Obedience is not just doing what you already know to be right, it is also hearing from Gods heart and obeying what he has asked you to do.  How do you know what he has asked you to do?  You hear from Him... you hear from Him by knowing His voice...  How do you know His voice? (because Jesus said his sheep know His voice..John 10:27) Time spent in the word, time spent praying, time spent LISTENING, journalling, praising, humbling yourself... Time. How do you make time?  You choose to.  

Shaun was watching a game show the other night (I happened to stop in my passing through) in which a celebrity told the group that she wakes up every morning at 3 am to work out... for two hours.  She makes time to shape her body the way she thinks it should look...  Have you taken the time to allow God to shape your mind the way He sees fit?

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Takes time...

How can you set time apart to know Jesus voice?  Dust off your Bible and read  it more often than any other book... Is there anything you are doing that you should not?  What does repentance look like for you right now? Is there anything that you should be doing that you are not?  How can you move forward in that? Do you need to include the body of Christ in your accountability to stop doing the wrong you are doing, or start doing what God has called you to?  

Father we know you have set apart those who obey you and bring you glory.  Show us where to start and where to end in our striving.  Help us to live a lifestyle of Glory to your name.  Show us your wisdom so that we can live in wisdom.  Let your pleasure rest on us, so that we know what it is to walk in obedience to you.  

The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:

 “This is the covenant I will make with them
    after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
    and I will write them on their minds.”

 Then he adds:

“Their sins and lawless acts
    I will remember no more.”

 And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

(Hebrews 10:12-18)

I have recently been humbly brought to my knees by three women in my life whom have bestowed wisdom to me that I had to recognize as God.  In my arrogance I assumed that Gods presence left their lives when I was not present in them.  That I was responsible for their growth because I had been a small opening in Christ to them.  

I cannot express the joy I have found in hearing from them, and knowing that God has already written the law in their hearts and in the their minds, and more, beckons them daily to take up their cross and follow Him. It is great encouragement at the beginning of a call into ministry that God would bring a harvest before the mission has even begun.  I am overwhelmed that He would bless me with such a gift, and have me know that He will bring others from the body to teach nourish and testify to their spirits.  Not only this but the promise of God having already put the law in their minds and in their hearts... How could I have tried to take responsibility for that which was not mine.  The responsibility and the glory is not mine, but His.  Of this I repent of today.

To rest in the know that God is at work always, and we need not strive, but simply obey.  To have our obedience influence eternity, or not influence it will be what our judgment will call us on in the end.  Head lifted toward the Father, our best efforts are only made pure by Him, in Him.  

"...Faith is the least self regarding of the virtues. It is by its very nature scarcely conscious of its own existence.  Like the eye which sees everything in front of it and never sees itself, faith is occupies with the object upon which it rests and pays no attention to itself at all.  While we are looking at God we do not see ourselves - blessed riddance...

...The man who has tried to purify himself and has had nothing but repeated failures will experience real relief when he stops tinkering with His soul and looks away to the perfect one...

Faith looks out instead of in and the whole life falls into line..."  Tozer 

How can it be that you would make my path strait when I had settled to wander?  How could you know that my greatest needs were to be overwhelmed with you, in you once again.  The mystery of the way you weave and spin our lives into place.  In your will, in my heart.  Our spiritual lives a beautiful tapestry weaved among the saints. Truly you give water to the thirsty and they no longer thirst.  In you there is no other truth, and in you the truth is endless. How can it be that you allow us to discover the mysterious way you work?  To be included in the mysterious way you are working. I can only fall to my face and ask humbly for more of you, at whatever cost you have required.  My obedience being a small price to pay to have your hand guiding me.  

You are it, you are my all, and in this space outside of time with you I am so grateful.  Keep that in my heart and my mind, forever.

"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." ~Paul (2 Cor. 7:8-10)

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Cron. 7:14

"...and leaves no regret..." Are you struggling with regret about the past?  Or worse, looking forward with dread of potential regret?  Repentance is a full 180 direction changer.  God can redeem every part of your past for His glory.  If you are sitting in regret, chances are, you have not fully repented. If you have chosen to move forward and have left the past to God, to redeem it, flip it and use it to His glory there will be no room for regret.  You will trust that God will use past things to shape you, others...

"...will humble themselves..." Being transparent for me transfers to being humble.  Being transparent with my husband and my children is even more humbling.  Being always open to correction, open to admitting my shortcomings, and always being reminded of the fact that it is only by the grace of God that HE HAS redeemed my past, and continues to work out my redemption moment by moment as I live for Him.

Both repentance and being humble are a process. Living in a posture of the two combined, (seasoned with grace and driven by love) is the closest thing to Christ-likeness I will become this side of Heaven.

Father, help us to see ourselves as we are.  Help us to have true sorrow of our sinful actions, and desire a full 180 to change in your power for you.  Help us be your children.  Children of the one and only true God. For your glory, and the glory of your body.

I was desperate, all I needed to do was see her to ask the question...

Through a flurry of messages, a phone call and the horrifying news of a 24 year old and an overdose... Shock.  Another one.  It was in this death that the question needed an answer.

In sudden death there is always a sense of helplessness, regret, unanswered questions to wonderment never asked in life.  Death is opportunity for those of us in slumber to wake up, to shape up, to desire more, demand more from those around us, and from ourselves.  I refused to allow this sinking ship go down, to allow evil to take its course, to come upon the situation like a shoal with distractions from the storm and devastate those aboard.

I didn't want to disturb the process, I just needed to have the question answered.  In the years of loving, in the years of being off the path on the path, and pushed, shoved around she needed to answer the question.  Not just for herself to hear and know it, but for her family, and for her savior, for eternity.  The question we can only answer ourselves.

 It was on a dock, surrounded by bull frogs, and every other marsh creature that we would go to dance the rhythm of trust when she was 15 and there we sat, over 10 years later.   She knows my love runs deep so to push through the sorrow to a point in the exchanges was trusted. The air sweet and warm, with a hint of gentle sorrow, a mighty angel keeping the spirit of despair at bay.  In the ask, I was desperate for her to know why.  In an near whisper of desperation it poured over me, from a place of hidden mysteries, a trusted place of complete surrender. In the recent storm of a loved one lost, she understood.  It was like she already knew I would be asking.

It was here that I learned of how "others" see in.  How "children" not yet invited or enticed by the body of Christ look in with questioning hearts, desperate for truth, to be told what and how...  It was here that I saw the souls of men brought to confusion because of the lack of unity in the body.  It was so real, so raw, so hurt my heart, the heart of the Father, that the spirit within me gasped when I realized the full consequence of our actions...  "I don't know where to go, this place believes something different from that place, and I just don't know what the real truth is... If someone would just teach me what to do, I would do it, I want to do it..."  The deep cry of every searching heart...  Through gentle tears of regret covered in sunglasses I apologized.

And there it was in clear mid day light. "Show me what to do and how to do it, because I want to do it." She believed... there was no question in my mind.  Question answered.  She believed and knew more than I had taught her, answered questions strait from the word, from the heart of Heaven, without hesitation.  As our conversation went on, I saw Christ in her, a steady mind filled with truth, being minded with truth... in process like the rest of us.  I was horribly surprised, and knew the challenge she would face in the coming days.  The whisper of a savior cannot be denied.  A wildfire can begin with one small spark.  It can spread quicker than we can control, and span a large area.  And so is my prayer for my beautiful sister in Christ.

If you have read this, please pray for her daily this coming month.  She has been in places many of us cannot imagine to be.  She is fighting the despair of recently loosing her closest family member to an overdose.  Pray for freedom, pray for light in darkness, for the hope of Jesus to overcome. Pray for angle armies to pave the way, for her to have a sober mind, and not be overwhelmed.  For seeds planted over a decade ago to yield a full harvest.  For Gods name to be great in the midst of great pain.  For God's people to be ready and welcoming for the harvest.  Pray as God leads:)  As I know he will.  Thank you, as this girl is a sister in Christ, a member still waiting to see what part of the body she will be part of...

http://www.gofundme.com/yjzda6x

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:15-16

This morning I fall short of prayer.  Prayer for people, prayer for the town I live, my neighbors, the Nation.  I am mediocre even in the prayer I offer up for myself.  We are told to "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." I want more than anything to be in God's will, so at a crossroad I will wait on the Lord.

God had me in a place of prayer over 15 years ago, and I wrote this song.  I still struggle to get through singing it in its entirety.  It is simple, and yet fully captures the heart of a people desperate for God to move...

We are dry Lord
and we are week
Send down your righteousness
Its living streams we seek

Waiting is so, so, so hard Lord
we're desperate to see you face to face 
the glory surrounds your thrown
We cant help but scream out
we scream out, we scream out,

Release us Lord
Release us Lord 
Release us Lord

It was a time of lonely seeking, a place of God revealing, and me responding.  It was all very overwhelming.  A shoulder brushed, an abuse taken in.  A glance understood of a fear deeper than anything human, oppression.  Eyes marked with hidden pain, others taunted with sickness, dancing on the edge of a cliff, most were deep with nothing, dead. In the desperate search for more, for light, for good... there was nothing.  Some were dead.

Every encounter of someones spirit became too overwhelming for my 21 year old heart to take in.  My lack of maturity and understanding reduced me to a sobbing mess.  I caved under the heavy weight of this gift, begging for the Lord to give it to someone else, to take it from me. My heart hardened, and I could no longer see the unending suffering around me.  No longer had His eyes, His heart for the Lost.  

For every move that happens in the unseen, there is one that happens in the seen.  Spirit, Physical.  

We are called to prayer in this day.  We are not called to instant results.  No, we stand in a fast flowing river, not overwhelmed by the current that passes by. Not dragged down by those flowing with the current.  We hold fast to the truths and promises our Jesus has given us.  The word says, "the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective".  Powerful and effective.  Stand your ground. Pray continually, allow the heavens to pour upon you the burdens of this world. Place them at the cross, where all is redeemed, being redeemed, and one day will be fully redeemed.  

Mistakes made at 21 will not be repeated.  Knowing in someones eyes what is happening in their heart is a beautiful Spirit filled mystery, a gift, a softening of the heart.  It is no longer about me...it never was, this prayer thing...

"Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”  ~Jesus