I was desperate, all I needed to do was see her to ask the question...

Through a flurry of messages, a phone call and the horrifying news of a 24 year old and an overdose... Shock.  Another one.  It was in this death that the question needed an answer.

In sudden death there is always a sense of helplessness, regret, unanswered questions to wonderment never asked in life.  Death is opportunity for those of us in slumber to wake up, to shape up, to desire more, demand more from those around us, and from ourselves.  I refused to allow this sinking ship go down, to allow evil to take its course, to come upon the situation like a shoal with distractions from the storm and devastate those aboard.

I didn't want to disturb the process, I just needed to have the question answered.  In the years of loving, in the years of being off the path on the path, and pushed, shoved around she needed to answer the question.  Not just for herself to hear and know it, but for her family, and for her savior, for eternity.  The question we can only answer ourselves.

 It was on a dock, surrounded by bull frogs, and every other marsh creature that we would go to dance the rhythm of trust when she was 15 and there we sat, over 10 years later.   She knows my love runs deep so to push through the sorrow to a point in the exchanges was trusted. The air sweet and warm, with a hint of gentle sorrow, a mighty angel keeping the spirit of despair at bay.  In the ask, I was desperate for her to know why.  In an near whisper of desperation it poured over me, from a place of hidden mysteries, a trusted place of complete surrender. In the recent storm of a loved one lost, she understood.  It was like she already knew I would be asking.

It was here that I learned of how "others" see in.  How "children" not yet invited or enticed by the body of Christ look in with questioning hearts, desperate for truth, to be told what and how...  It was here that I saw the souls of men brought to confusion because of the lack of unity in the body.  It was so real, so raw, so hurt my heart, the heart of the Father, that the spirit within me gasped when I realized the full consequence of our actions...  "I don't know where to go, this place believes something different from that place, and I just don't know what the real truth is... If someone would just teach me what to do, I would do it, I want to do it..."  The deep cry of every searching heart...  Through gentle tears of regret covered in sunglasses I apologized.

And there it was in clear mid day light. "Show me what to do and how to do it, because I want to do it." She believed... there was no question in my mind.  Question answered.  She believed and knew more than I had taught her, answered questions strait from the word, from the heart of Heaven, without hesitation.  As our conversation went on, I saw Christ in her, a steady mind filled with truth, being minded with truth... in process like the rest of us.  I was horribly surprised, and knew the challenge she would face in the coming days.  The whisper of a savior cannot be denied.  A wildfire can begin with one small spark.  It can spread quicker than we can control, and span a large area.  And so is my prayer for my beautiful sister in Christ.

If you have read this, please pray for her daily this coming month.  She has been in places many of us cannot imagine to be.  She is fighting the despair of recently loosing her closest family member to an overdose.  Pray for freedom, pray for light in darkness, for the hope of Jesus to overcome. Pray for angle armies to pave the way, for her to have a sober mind, and not be overwhelmed.  For seeds planted over a decade ago to yield a full harvest.  For Gods name to be great in the midst of great pain.  For God's people to be ready and welcoming for the harvest.  Pray as God leads:)  As I know he will.  Thank you, as this girl is a sister in Christ, a member still waiting to see what part of the body she will be part of...

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