Feeling quite out of bodyish at the moment leading up to Tuesday. I remember in the worst times wishing for this day to arrive, and now that it is almost here, and I have had the best summer EVER I am anticipating each moment that will lead up to it. Wanting to have a mental memory frame by frame to halt and slow it all down... back it up, slow it down.
That world can be so big and mean. I want to hover and hold and cuddle into that everlasting love... but this is not my lifelong job. I'm not sure God is best glorified in my moments of closed hands, holding onto the ones he gives instead of releasing them to be blessed and bless others.
How could I have known in my worst moments with them that I would be having this moment so quickly? I gasp as if to recover the last breath wasted in my worst moments. I gasp because I'm desperate for their little minds to know that I did in fact give my all, even when my all didn't seem to quite hit the mark.
In my spirit we we always have the past and this summer. In the future, just as I have discovered with God, I will learn new things of them. How to surrender between 8:30 am and 3:30 pm two lives just beginning... Ah, and yet the Lord knows. He knows.
My babies are off to the bus, off to the classroom, off to the fallen world of my only Lord. From inside of the house the moment my hand touches the door, their keys unlock my heart. How long will I be able to hold them in, snuggle them close enough to know it is time for a bath again:)?
All my babies... All of the Lords babies... and for every moment forward, open hands and opens arms. Please pray for moms like me that may struggle the first day of school...
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